Alleged Naked Coke-Smoking Tricyclist Arrested

Jermaine Jones Mug Shot

As Rick James once said, “cocaine is a helluva drug.”

Police in Lakewood, New Jersey, say 31-year-old Jermaine Jones smoked some cocaine and then found himself riding around on a tricycle at an apartment complex. By the time officers arrived on the scene, he had allegedly abandoned the tricycle and was sitting (still naked) under a stairwell, where he was chewing on glass and tobacco, reports David Moye of Huffington Post Crime.

That would certainly explain matters.

He was treated for cuts in his mouth at a local hospital and charged with disorderly conduct and being under the influence.

See more of Jones as well as this week’s other alleged dumb criminals in my new gallery, This Week in Weird Crime.

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Photo ? Lee County (Florida) Sheriff’s Department

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Quiz: How Weird Are You?

Weird Swimmers

If you’re hanging around here at Weird News Central, you’ve probably got a screw or two loose.

It’s OK, you can admit it. You’re among friends.

But if you’ve ever wondered just how weird you are when compared to your fellow screwballs, well, here’s your chances to get some answers.

It’s the Weird News Quiz from my colleagues at The Huffington Post, which you can take right here to get some answers.

Best part of all: You don’t have to wait weeks for the test results to come back.

Photo ? Getty Images

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Male Strippers Beat Robbery Suspect To A Pulp, Police Say

<img src="http://0.tqn.com/d/weirdnews/1/0/7/z/-/-/thunder-from-down-under-mug-shot-170.jpg" alt="Thunder …

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Swingin’ New Version of ‘Baby Got Back’

Baby Got Back

Sir Mix-A-Lot is a musical genius. When he created “Baby Got Back” in 1992, he crafted a musical masterpiece that can be recreated in any genre without losing a beat.

Like your big butts in jazz? There’s a “Baby Got Back” for that.

Easy listening? Here’s some mellow big butts for you.

Prefer metal? Try this one.

The latest entrant is from SCC Comedy, and it’s “Baby Got Back” done in the swingin’ style of Rat Pack-era Sinatra. Check out the full video over at the Huffington Post.

Photo ? SCC Comedy

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Penis-Waving Potbelly Peeper on the Prowl in S. San Francisco

San Francisco Peeper

High school cheerleaders in South San Francisco got an unwelcome visitor to their locker room earlier this month, and it wasn’t a coach there to deliver a pep talk.

No, it was a naked man – who stared at the girls, waved his penis at them and then took off.

“He didn’t say anything. He was just standing there, staring at us,” freshman cheerleader Alondra Gomez told KTVU-TV.

After he left, the girls called 911. Police couldn’t find the man, but they did get this sketch.

He’s described as being a balding white man between 45 and 50 years old and of average build – except for a potbelly, according to HuffPost Crime.

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Photo ? South San Francisco Police Department

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Psychic Orangutan Predicts Seahawks Super Bowl Victory

Super Bowl Ape

This isn’t an ordinary orangutan. This is an ape that has a sixth sense for the Super Bowl – because for six straight years, he’s managed to predict the winner.

And – sorry, Denver Broncos fans – this year, he’s going ape for the Seattle Seahawks.

Eli, a 13-year-old orangutan at the Hogle Zoo in Salt Lake City, was given a choice of two papier-mache helmets with the logos of the two teams, and made his pick clear by smashing apart the one representing Seattle.

“He made his pick without any hesitation,” said zoo publicist Erica Hansen, according to the Associated Press.

Photo ? Hogle Zoo

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Stuff You Didn’t Know About Chipotle

Chipotle

What’s worth $15 billion, uses 100,000 avocados a day and even has its own currency?

It’s Chipotle, the burrito restaurant that came out of nowhere to become one of the nation’s top fast food chains.

But believe it or not, the creator of Chipotle never set out to get into the burrito business at all. In fact, Steve Ells wanted a fancy restaurant – and the burrito shop was supposed to be a quick way to raise some money towards that dream.

I’ve got some trivia about Chipotle you probably never knew in my new gallery. And for more fun facts about the world’s top burrito chain, see “15 Things You Didn’t Know About Chipotle” over at The Huffington Post.

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Opera Singer Says Botched Surgery Makes Her Fart

Opera House

Yesterday, we had farting cows. Today, it’s a farting opera singer.

Amy Herbst of the Nashville Opera Company says doctors at a U.S. military hospital botched her childbirth operation and now she farts so much she can’t sing.

Herbst is suing the federal government for $2.5 million, saying all that gas is threatening her career, according to an Associated Press report.

Maybe she should consider a different type of musical career.

Photo ? Getty Images

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Farting Cows Blow Up Barn in Germany

Cow Butts

Farting cows nearly blew the roof of their barn when methane gas released by the animals caused an explosion.

Police in Germany say static electricity appeared to have triggered the barnyard butt blast, damaging the roof and even causing a little flame, according to an Associated Press report.

Amazingly, only one of the 90 cows in the barn was injured – slight burns – and no humans were hurt as a result of the bovine blast.

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Way-Too-Happy Meal: Man Accused of Masturbating in McDonald’s Parking Lot

Spencer Toner Mug Shot

Is that McRib… or are you just happy to see me?

A man nearly 80 years old was caught with his pants down in his car in a McDonald’s parking lot in Bonita Springs, Florida, while watching porn on a laptop, according to reports cited by HuffPost crime.

Spencer Toner, 79, was reportedly asked to leave by another customer – and when he didn’t, the other customer called the cops, according to the reports.

Toner told police he was homeless and living in his 1982 black Mercedes Benz C300, according to news-press.com. See more of Toner and mug shots of other accused miscreants in my new gallery, This Week in Weird Crime.

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Photo ? Lee County (Florida) Sheriff’s Department

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